Child’s Version of Life

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It’s funny when you look back on a season of your life that you were so anxious to get out of only to realize that you learned so much while going through it. On my desk, I have a picture of one of the youngster I had the privilege of working with while I was an applied behavior analyst at an early intervention preschool. Every time I look over at this little guy it makes me laugh. Now, that I spend most of my working time in a corporate setting, I realize how blessed I am to have had the privilege to impact and be impacted by the lives of some youngster.

I’m reminded that you can learn so much about life, by being around children. Children are so pure, innocent, without fascade or the societal filters that become a part of adult existence. They are without prejudice, fear, and a clear understanding of doubt. Now, don’t get me wrong. These things exist in children. However they,unlike most adults, they are not governed by them. They are merely fleeting emotions that pass by until replaced by new thoughts such as hunger, the need to not wet their pants, and random impulsivity. For example, I remember sitting at a park with my good friend Brian in college. We were digging into the Word and doing some writing when some children began “playing baseball”.

It was hilarious. As we watched these kids playing their care free version of baseball. I was filled with joy and laughter as I watched them run around knowing absolutely nothing about the rules or techniques. They had no clue what they were doing, but they were playing. Kids just play. You know how kids are…they were just doing stuff. Random stuff. Crazy stuff. Any stuff and calling it baseball. Kids were flipping. Picking their noses. Jokers was crying, and occasionally some bats were being swung. All the kids, at any particular moment in the game, were running. Bases were being moved. It was hilarious. It’s interesting though, because since they neither know or understood the rules or techniques of baseball, they play the game based on what they have seen. So, at some point in their lives they witnessed baseball being played in some form, and now they are attempting to model the behavior they witnessed, the best they can.

They know they are supposed to swing the bat when the ball is thrown. So they swing regardless of the position or location of the pitch.They know they are supposed to run the bases. So whether they hit the ball or do not hit the ball….they run. Not only do they run, but they run to any base they see. It may be first base, it may be third, it doesn’t matter to them, they just know they are supposed to run to a base so they just run to whatever base they saw first.They know they should avoid getting tagged out. So when a defender approaches them with the ball, they run out of control to get away from the ball. They run in circles, they run in zigzags, they scream, they run backwards, and then they cry.

Yeah I understand they were having fun, but if only they understood the rules of the game.

If only they knew they didn’t have to run aimlessly. If they knew that they didn’t have to swing at every pitch, or run to any base. If only they knew that they could just run to the home base and be safe or return to the dugout full of fellow players that would encourage, motivate, and help them to get better. They would find their game more effective, more disciplined, less dangerous, and they would find people and circumstances that are presented as opportunities to learn what they could do better and what to avoid in order to make it home again.

It’s funny because life really is like a child’s version baseball and a lot of us (adults) don’t really understand the simple rules that govern this game of life. We all at different times seem to be playing life based on what we have seen. Which could be a very good or bad thing depending on who you have been watching. We run around aimlessly, we swing at every chance, we simply do not have an understanding of the rules or techniques that enable us to be successful.

Life is really simple. It’s not complex at all. There are very little surprises. The rules that govern our reality have been in place for somewhere between 10,000 to 4.5 billion years (depending on who you ask). So what makes life so hard sometimes?

Maybe it’s me, but I think the hard part of life is being prepared for it. There are so many problems, but yet so many solutions. There are so many walls, yet so many ladders. Preparation, or the act of making ready, involves a word that none of us really enjoy: sacrifice.

It’s funny because in our culture and society today we have the blessing and curse of having the ability to get most things quickly. There is very little need to develop patience, because we are exposed to so many things that can be accessed quickly. It’s ridiculous when you think about it, for many people there is more information inside their pocket, than in their head. Yet and still life is life, and life is governed by the same set of rules. There is no easy way to succeed. The only road to greatness is the hard road. You don’t walk this road casually. This road is not for those looking for the express route. There’s no such thing.

Whether we like it or not, to be successful on this road, to be successful in this game-it requires: preparation and sacrifice.

Great financial counselor and teacher Dave Ramsey says

“If you are willing to live like no one else. Later, you can live like no one else”

What Dave is saying was also revealed in the proverbial books of the Hebrew bible where it says,

Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest.

Essentially, what these two ideas reveal is that life takes more than just modeling behavior in an attempt to be, do, and have. Life demands two things: sacrifice and preparation.Ah it sucks, I know but I believe it will certainly be worth it. There’s so many things I want to attain. So many things I want to do. So many places I must go. A calling I must fulfill. A job I want to do. A business I want to run. It’s crazy because there is only one way to see these things happen. Sacrifice and preparation.
I once had this ridiculous thought, that if I was willing to sacrifice for just 10 years, than I would have the opportunity to enjoy the rest of life. Not so, sacrifice will constantly be a part of my life. Not for just 10 years…but forever. Preparation will always be required. Not for just 10 years….but forever. The enjoyment comes and exist in the midst of the sacrifice and preparation as well as in the attainment of prize.

So what do you want to be? What do you want to do? What do you want to attain? What victory would you like to taste?

Whatever it is and if you really want it, there’s only one way. There’s no magic solution. There’s no easy road. So stop playing based on what you seen, and I’ll meet you on the hard road at the intersection of sacrifice and preparation.

Keep pressing friends,
KD

Bold as Lions

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Beautiful people. So listen I’m sure you’ve noticed that we are right smack into the second quarter of this year. As this year rolls on, and each day passes us by-maybe the daunting reality that you may not have made any progress towards accomplishing all or any of the goals that you set out to accomplish this year.

At the time of me writing this: April 28th. There are 247 days left until most people will be writing new goals for 2014. The sad reality is that the majority of those individuals will not have accomplished any of the goals they set in 2013. Sucks right? I know this because I’ve been that dude before. Yup. Everybody boo this man… (boooo).This year I did something interesting, and I’ve been slaying my goals since. I made a vision board:

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Habukkak 2:2 (a book and verse in the prophetic books of the Hebrew Bible) says,

“Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.“

You know there is an interesting phenomena that occurs when you wake up and see all of your goals in picture form. It creates a certain motivation and hunger that is undeniable. You know I also did something pretty radical. There was a Christian Chamber of Commerce event in my area at the beginning of the year. I took this entire vision board (which is huge by the way) and I took it and laid it upon the alter and cried out the The Lord. (Sidebar: I am a follower of Jesus, so when I say Lord it literally refers to Jesus The Lord or owner of my life). I think that radical step of obedience has been having an interesting effect as well in my pursuit of my goals for this year.

If you notice, my theme for this year is: “the dream is not enough.” Now you may be wondering, why? Dreams are great, but I have reached a place where dreaming is the last thing I want to do. I have had so many dreams, and envisioned so many visions that in order to keep my sanity, I must empty myself of the dreams and visions in order to make room for some new ones.

Now, don’t get me wrong dreams, visions, and goals are great. They are targets and they focus our attention. They are like scope for a sharpshooter or a funnel for water. If your anything like me (a)Handsomed b)energetic or c) powerful beyond measure). You need dreams, vision, and goals. Goals focus my attention. John Maxwell says that “No one has ever reached success without first knowing where they were. Goal setting is nothing more than steps.

Maybe your at the bottom of the success staircase this year or maybe you haven’t been making as much progress as you would have hoped to have made by this time in the year. Maybe your New Year’s “resolution” is still sitting in January right where you left it. Maybe the very thought of the unaccomplished and untouched dream has a sting to it. Sucks right? Before we allow ourselves to sink into that deep dark pit of depression where dreams go to die, or to walk down the long road of despair, I’d like to share one of the lessons I have been learning and attempting to apply to my life. In hope that it may encourage you to accomplish all that you desire, and get the stepping.

There is this absolutely incredible proverb that I think about often. It says,

“the wicked flee when no one is pursues, but the righteous are as bold as lions.”

The righteous are as bold as lions.This idea led me to an interesting question: “When was the last time I had turned on the TV or saw a picture in national geographic of a lion in its natural habitat (in the absence of human intervention-because you know how we do) deathly afraid?”

Think about it, you have never seen this picture. You have never witnessed this idea. There is a reason that in the Wizard of Oz, the Lion is skipping down the dosh garn road trying to get some courage…because fiction must manipulate reality and create something that is so incredibly ridiculous that it’s entertaining. Lions are bold. Lions are courageous. They are fierce, strong, and ready. They are without fear. Why? Lions understand what they are and what they have.

Lesson: I was born for this.

This is such a simple idea, that practically went over my head until about one week ago. Vulnerable moment: I can be a pretty insecure guy. I will doubt myself, my ability, my intellect, and just about everything else at random moments. In those moments, you would hardly notice, but I become so introspectively aggressive and begin to wage an internal battle between what I know and what I feel. It’s a really horribly draining, and aimless struggle that I have fault since I was in grade school, but I am overcoming.

Last week I was having one of those episodes, and one of my Pastors told me something very interesting that was just what I needed to begin my assult against my feelings. He said “Keenan. You have to stop doubting yourself and your calling. Faith can conquer a mountain, but doubt will create one.” Selah

You know his words were so true. Doubt will create a mountain that almost appears insurmountable, but the simple truth of the matter is that no matter what the mountain, no matter what the challenge, no what the goal. We were born for the challenge, we were born for the obstacle, and we were born to climb mountains.

So back to the lions because I think nature often can teach us many incredible lessons about how we should be or could be in a lot of situations. As humans we make things so difficult. We complicate life with our higher order thinking and logic.

At any rate, when you look at lion. There is a certain element of peace that they seem to embody as they approach life. I’ve come to discover something very interesting about peace. Peace is an understanding. It’s not about quiet or silence. Peace is a revelation. It’s not about the absence of violence or having security or even money in the bank. Peace is that simple knowledge that there is nothing greater, bigger, stronger, or more effective than what you are and what is inside of you.

This is why when you turn on the TV and see lions, those jokers are usually laying around sleeping! They understand this simple principle that there is nothing greater, bigger, stronger, or more effective than they are…so they rest. They wake up, they accomplish their goals (which usually involves a few gazelles), and then they rest. This is an interesting idea and relates so well to us, because 99.9% of the time what stops us from accomplishing our goals is a lack of peace (that understanding and revelation of who you are and what’s inside of you) and the abundance of fear. Lions don’t experience this! And neither should we.

When my Pastor shared that very simple revelation with me it shocked me back to the understanding that I was born a lion. There is a power within me to accomplish every single task and every single obstacle. There is a understanding within me ready for every single mountain and every single challenge. When we experience fear and doubt, there is a simple solution- remind yourself of what you are and what is in side of you.

I truly believe that every single obstacle, challenge, mountain, and circumstance is an opportunity for our true selves to be revealed. As a Christian, for me that looks like an opportunity for me to 1) glory in my weaknesses 2) bask in God’s strength. I don’t know what that looks like for you, but what I do know is that in our unfavorable circumstances, in our challenges, in those moments where we stand at the base of staircase leading to our goals and dreams…there is an opportunity to discover how great our roar can be.

Keep pressing,
KD

Faith, Doubt, & Running

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I hate running.

Seriously, if I am not running for my life or general survival. Running itself is just a horrible experience.

So please trust that the day before my untrained, completely not in shape behind was scheduled to run a 5k, I was pretty much kicking myself. Now, let’s all get on that same page in our understanding of the beastly-ness of what I was preparing to endure. That’s 5 grueling Kilometers or 3.1 intense Miles or 16,405 torturous feet. They don’t call them 5 Kill-o-meters for nothing…cause yah sure gon die.

So conventional wisdom would prompt you to say “well KD, why did I sign up in the first place?” I’m glad you asked Reason #1) the run was a benefit for diabetes research and I absolutely love the ideas of growth,development, and finding ways to enrich the lives of others. Reason #2) My job paid for it and Lawd knows I like free stuff.

Anyway, I half-heartedly started training for this 3.1 miles of excruciating torture and pain. (By training…I mean I ran twice). Then I mentally just prepared to push myself through the pain, through the doubt, through the torture and have a whole mind over body experience.
I entered the morning with one objective, one goal, one pursuit: Finish.

Don’t quit, don’t give up, and finish.

Interesting thing happened that day. I made a dope playlist on spotify affectiously entitled “5K Special” and I charged myself up. I focused my mind that this would be the opportunity to discipline and torture into submission all that is weak inside of me. That this would be an awesome moment in time that I could straight up just style on my perceived limitations in such a way that my mental strength and divinely endowed Will-power would reign supreme over all of my weak and unstable ways. I gave myself a very simple pep talk at that starting line. It went like this,

“Finish. Keep going. Do not stop.”

As one mile passed me by, I simply said, “Finish. Keep going. Do not stop.”

As people were literally falling around me, succumbing to that weak inner voice. Succumbing to the pain of the race. As people were giving up, walking, and stopping to catch their breath, I said “Finish. Keep going. Do not stop.”

As the ambulance came out to aide the fallen. I said, “Don’t look! Finish. Keep going. Do not stop.”

As every part of my body began to ache, as my muscles started to tighten, as that ridiculous rib pain began to pulsate within me, like a beacon to my mind of how out of shape I truly was..I simply uttered, “Finish. Keep going. Do not stop.”

I reminded myself of all those times I had given up, quit, or did not follow through because it was hard, difficult, or uncomfortable, then I said “Finish. Keep going. Do not stop.”

Then….it happened somewhere around the 2 mile mark. My mind was overwhelmed with this simple idea, “Finish. Keep going. Do not stop.”….my body was killing me. I started to slow down (because I was moving at a beastly pace mind you). I said just keep going. Go slow but “Finish. Keep going. Do not stop.” I came around a bend and the unthinkable happened. I stopped.

Immedatiately, my mind began making excuses “It’s ok. Look your in no shape. You can’t push yourself so hard.” All those weak, lame, and completely bogus diseased idea began to infect my mind. Then God showed me grace in a way that I would never forget. A smiling collegue came racing by me, and gave me a little tap on the arm, and my body instantly began moving at the
same beastly pace again. “Finish. Keep going. Do not stop.”

Sometimes I doubt God.

(Fix your face. Don’t look at me like that. I said it because I’m honest.)

However, In these seasons of doubt. I have to remind myself of what I believe. I believe that God is real, active, present, and able. I believe that He loves, cares, and is concerned about me. I believe that He sent His one and only Son Jesus Christ to pay a debt for me that He did not have to, and a debt that I would never be able to pay. I believe that His spirit lives within me, on me, and around me. All else is fair game for questioning.

Some seasons much like running suck. Some seasons are tortuous, grueling, and incredibly lame. I am in one right now that makes me question a good deal of things that I have come to know and experience. It’s so easy to look at those who have also been in this race that we call life, see them stop, fall, and give up and think about doing the same.

It’s so easy to just allow the inner weak voice to rise up and stifle your development, and then make all the proper excuses as to why it’s ok, and that you can’t push yourself so hard, or this is just what happens, and such is life.

Believe me one will always find another willing to agree with their compromise.

I don’t care how many people are in agreement, but I’m sorry those ideas are drenched in weakness. Those thoughts are cultivated in lame. They are completely bogus diseased understandings that will infect your mind if you think on them for too long.

There is this awesome teaching of Jesus Christ found in the Holy Bible that says,

“No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62 ESV)

Essentially what Jesus was saying is “Finish. Keep going. Do not stop.”

No matter how difficult it may be. No matter what the task. No matter what the job. No matter how many are against you. No matter how much doubt exists. No matter who is stopping. No matter who is falling. No matter who is giving up. Finish. Keep going. Do not stop.

Start with what you know then determine what you believe. Separate right from wrong. Then separate the truth from what is right.

Yes it might suck. Yes you may be overwhelmed with doubt, but “Finish. Keep going. Do not stop”, and if you fall, if you stumble, if you succumb there will always be a smiling collegue to come along side of you and provide a jumpstart.

So my friends, “finish. Keep going. Do not stop”

Peace and perpetual progress,
KD

Sidebar: I’ve ran with out stopping 3.1 miles two days later! Killing them meters!

Man Up: Follow Up

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I don’t necessarily know how I want to start this post, I of course want to recap and tell the readers that man up brought 25 young men together, that we watched a great movie, that original expectations were exceeded, that we had to run out and get more food-silly me underestimating the hunger of 25 young men.

I also want to tell them about the parents and the looks in their eyes.

Maybe that’s how I should start…with the look in their eyes. How can I describe the passion, the interest, the heart plea in such a way..using the written language to convey this message? Help me Lord

So how can I describe what happened for you….it was…you know I had this image in my head of how the birth of this idea would look. I imagined it kind of gritty and raw, but a particular moment in time that had the potential to radically impact all those involved. Ahh I am getting a little ahead of myself so let me back track for just a second…

I fellowship in a fairly large church congregation, and I stood up in front of a few hundred of them to make the announcement that we would be launching a training program to teach men, how to be men, and I read some pretty horrible statistics that shed light on the deprivation of Fatherhood, and impact of poor role models could have on young men and boys.

I made a general plea from my heart that permeated far deeper than my words could have ever expressed. After that several mothers, father, and sisters told me how important that they believed this could be. There was something very interesting in each of their eyes…there was a desperation and a hope. I knew the look well, for it was the same look my mother, godfather, and teachers look upon me with when I was a teenage boy.

So when the night began, and the young men started to arrive I knew the moment had arrived. We were at the intersection of hope and desperation, and I was prepared with the same hope that permeated far deeper than my words could ever express. 25 young men showed up on a Friday night. I was super pumped up as I began the conversation with a dope prezi presentation to describe why we had even come together in the first place.

The night was awesome (minus running out of food and having to send out a brother to Little Caesars). We watched this great movie depicting one man’s struggle to make it through life. Juxtaposing his version or understanding of Man hood with a Biblically one.

The men responded incredibly well, and we had an awesome discussion about what it meant to be a man, and the great men that we each knew. Some said Jesus, others said their father, President Obama, Pastors, and one young man even said me (I didn’t pay him lol).

It was incredible. My mind has been racing about how to continue this movement for about…I’d say the last 2 years. It’s in my heart to foster a community that empower the radically genuine, kind, enlightened, and powerful gentleman. The journey has indeed begun.

Sorry. I suck at remembering to take picture. Next time.

Peace and progress friends,

Kd

Man Up.

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OK So first and foremost. THIS. FILM. LOOKS. EPIC, and rightly so. The original script for this movie was done by Gary Whitta, the same genius writer behind one of the films gracing my TOP 5,”The Book of Eli”. Polished up by the Oscar nominated and genius writer Stephen Gaghan (Traffic & Da Vinci Code), and directed by my fellow tri-statian M. Night Shyamalan (who we will momentarily forgive for such dismal films as The Village and The Happening; Let’s just all think “The Sixth Sense. which was dope)

This movie, After Earth,  takes place 1000 years after some cataclysmic event ( Now we all know the possibilities are endless-global warming, nuclear war, or maybe all the dumb things we are doing to our food will catch up to us..coughMonsantocough) has caused humans to evacuate the planet.

So confession: If you haven’t notice. I am not exactly what they would call “normal”. (My girlfriend may have just fainted…sorry to have to break it to you know like this lady…Sike she of course knows I am weird) I have way of looking at things that is just different. Saying that I think this movie is going to be incredible, and obviously because this movie doesn’t come out until June, this is not a review but an extraction of ideas. Honestly, when I saw that trailer I became so excited, and immediately my mind started racing, and extracting the value and worth from the short clip in a philosophical way.

For instance, considering that this movie depicts the relationship of Father and Son in a hostile world. Illustrating a rite of passage in a sense, as Will Smith’s character has become injured and incapable being able to guide his son through the treacherous and hostile world that is now Earth. So he must then guide his son remotely from their ship to the destination where I assume some type of help awaits.

Now right here is where my crazy brain started kicking into it’s “crazed mode”. This movie highlights in some way the epidemic  facing our culture today: The deprivation of Fatherhood and its effects. One article I read recently said that,

“Father absence is a major force lying behind many of the attention grabbing issues that dominate the news: crime and delinquency, premature sexuality, out of wedlock teen births, deteriorating educational achievement, depression, substance abuse, and alienation among teenagers, in addition to the growing number of women in poverty.” (Popenoe)

That is mind blowing to me, but it makes sense. I had this sweater and there was this ridiculously annoying string hanging from it. I don’t know what happen but after I washed the sweater there were a few hanging threads. So I decided to pull on one of the strings to see if I could tug it off. (You can probably see where this is going for my sweater). So I started pulling on strings haphazardly, and as I started pulling the strings I realized that the strings were longer and stronger than I had anticipated. The more I pulled the strings, the more string that kept coming. Then I began to see my sweater getting a little more transparent in some areas. Hence my sweater was ruined. Why? Because there are just some strings that are essential to the structure of a fabric. They are to never to be removed without some serious consequence.

You know…our society and culture is like a sweater. It is so fragile that you can’t just pull or tug on any of the individual fabrics haphazardly. Each string is absolutely essential. You pull one, and things begin to get a little “transparent” then eventually it falls apart. That is where we are as a culture…we are falling apart in many places.

I remember when I was younger I used to smoke a lot of weed. Not out of desire, but more as the social peer pressure type thing (Sidebar: In fact..I hated it. One time I became so high and paranoid I thought Jesus had come and raptured the church…So I called one of the most saved persons I knew..just to make sure they were still here lol.). You know, I just wanted to belong to a group of guys. It just so happened that the group of guys I hung with, when I was like 15 years old, enjoyed sitting in a trailer and smoking weed. We all had something in common beyond our affection for Mary Jane. We were each fatherless or “underfathered”. You know what’s even crazier…out of each of those gentleman that smoked up that trailer..If my memory serves me correctly, I am one of the few that is not in prison, on probation, or dead.

What happened? What changed my path? Because to be where I am today..is an anomaly.

I am the product of a “broken home”, my mother was a single woman raising three kids, my father made some horrible decisions and became slave to some substances. Statistically individuals with my background are more likely to be poor, become involved in drugs and alcohol abuse, drop out of school, and suffer from health and emotional problems. Boys growing up in similar circumstances as me are more likely to become involved in crime. In fact, 3 out of every 4 teenage suicides occurs in households where a parent has been absent. The evidence shows that growing up in a Father deprived environment has serious ramifications that cross every single area of life and positions an individual at the bottom of a mountain that they must climb.

So how am I making it over the mountain? Well my mother made an incredibly hard decision when I was about 15 or 16 years old. As difficult as it was, she saw the path that I was heading down-a path right towards those statistics. I was slipping.I was hurt. I was angry. I was lost. I was  trying to blindly  carry myself up that mountain. It was then that she realized that only a man could push me into manhood. Only a man could guide me up that mountain. Only a man could really charge me to Man Up.

That’s what it takes. W.E.B. DuBois said that,

 ”The training of men is a difficult and intricate task. Its technique is a matter for educational experts but its object is for vision seers.”

The training of men is a difficult and intricate task. It is not a casual walk towards manhood. The walk to manhood is a battle up a mountain. The sad reality is that millions are losing the battle today. Millions are  subscribing to the idea that manhood is defined by baby making and raw displays of force. Man hood is an art. It’s detailed. It’s strategic. It’s courageous. It requires humility. It requires discipline. It requires heart.

There are millions of young men growing up today. Blindly trying to make it up the mountain. They are just hoping and believing that with age and experience they may become men. I just want to look the square in the eyes and say…it won’t just happen. You see. I’ve discovered that you do not become a man through osmosis. You do not become a man through evolution. You do not become a man with age or height. YoU become a man, by slaying your version of manhood and walking up a treacherous mountain to make a cruical exchange.

I am so pumped up, because I have been blessed with an opportunity to share my struggle and triumph with some young man that are like me. Engaged in the battle, attempting to climb the long mountain to Man hood. Tomorrow night I will be meeting some some young man to kick off this incredible initiative simply known as: “MAN UP: Taking Your Manhood Higher.”

I’ve been putting in a great deal of work to the idea…so I am incredibly excited to share it with the world. I will keep y’all posted.

-KD

Manuplogowithquote

 

Calibrating life.

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So first and foremost, before I even jump into any principles or long stories- I am so pumped up to be entering the blogosphere again. I took a long sabbatical and disconnected from a lot of serving and business work for a much needed “calibration”.

You know lately I have been doing some thinking about vehicles. I’m not exactly a car buff, but I know enough to carry myself through an everyday conversation. The basic stuff like “oh yeah I get great gas mileage”or “the handle on my car is incredible.”

Confession: I have no idea how good or bad my gas mileage is, and as long as my car “handles” itself so I can get to my where I need to be…I really don’t care. So when I started thinking about vehicles in relation to the tug I felt to limit myself for a month I was a bit confused. I just needed another analogy. I just couldn’t develop or get it. I just don’t know enough about cars to even create a good point lol- I mean how would I even start such a thought….“uhhh well car windows…you know, the way they go up and down…that’s like life”…. I thought I needed some other way to illustrate this point…

That was until I started doing a little research and I found out that when an engineer is developing an engine for a high performance vehicle the calibration stage is one of the most crucial stages in the engine’s development. Why? Because it is in this stage that the success of all the others is determined. The engineer makes sure that the engine is in perfect balance, making sure that the dimensions are right, checking every component, planning and testing that bad boy in such a way that it’s alignment and assignment are perfected for peak performance.

Likewise, when God told me to slow down, to sit down, and to calibrate myself; essentially what He was saying was “I need you align yourself for peak performance son”

2013 is going to be a great year. It’s already great! I have so much to share with you. I honestly don’t know what this year will hold, but I do know one thing about the end of this year. I know that this  is the year that the dream is not enough. Dreaming is great, having vision is great, but there comes a point when dreaming in and of itself is no longer satisfying. I know you can relate, when I say that this is the year we must  see, experience, touch, hear, walk in, and be what we have been dreaming! There’s such a fire inside of us. The dreams can be so overwhelming at times. but this is the year that we must get it out!

But I’m telling you….we won’t see, experience, touch, hear, walk in, or be what we are dreaming of this year if we don’t make calibration a priority. If we don’t make self-assessment and understanding a part of our routine, this year will be like every other year, and we will sit back at the end of 2013 defeated and upset.

I am going to be a bit vulnerable for a second (and forever since apparently when you put things online they are cemented into time itself- kind of like a fossil or those strange frozen elephant creatures). I have been wanting to see, experience, feel, and walk into somethings lately. I am so close it’s ridiculous. I’ll tell you what makes it really hard though. One day I realized that I have become so accustomed to disappointment, so comfortable with the idea that things won’t work out the way that I desire them to-that I am afraid to fully commit and believe.

That type of thinking could prevent me from reaching peak performance this year. How do I know that? Well I learned it during my calibration phase. Scripture is really  cool in the way that it has an answer/solution for everything, including this situation. It says,

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. (Hebrews 11:6)

The reality is Faith and belief are a requirement to this life. They are the twins that allow the unseen reality, dream, or vision to become seen. Yet, faith and belief are born in the period of calibration. Faith and belief are a byproduct of properly being aligned. Faith and belief are the fuels that will power the engine to reach peak performance. Have faith. Believe, and let’s go!

 

-Happy New Years

Kd

There’s only one solution to darkness: My Raw thoughts on shooting in Newtown, Connecticut.

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Children man. Innocent children. That breathed, loved, cared, dreamed, and longed for a future that they will now never see. Many people all over the nation are asking “why?” Why did this happen? That is never an easy question. Scripture reveals in Proverb 6: 16-17 that there are several things that the Lord hates; one of which is

“hands that shed innocent blood.”

So when we consider the “why?” We can eliminate God from that equation, because I am sure He is terribly grieved by this event, but I can also assure you that He is not pacing the halls of Heaven trying to figure out what to do next. So there leaves only one other option, and what to do. Both those answers involve….Us.

For we, our nation, our states, our churches, our communities, our schools, our cultures are only as strong as our weakest links. If we are a collective culture, growing harmoniously together, striving for the same ends and collectively diseased by evil, hatred, and sin. We all share that infection. So what are we doing?

That is the question. That is what this is all about. We are the standard. We are the change. We are the people that can make a difference.

We as a people and culture are so preoccupied on winning the lottery and how horrible our favorite teams are doing. Jesus Christ, these were CHILDREN! Kids. Why does it take tragedy to wake us from our slumbers. I am not pointing any fingers, I’m talking right to the mirror first, but what are we doing?

Granted we can’t stop evil from taking place in this world, but we must do our part. My heart really goes out to those effected by this incredible tragedy that took place in Connecticut today. I have no idea what they are going through. None. I am no stranger to pain, but pain is never a comparable entity. So my sincerest and deepest prayers are now for them.

I honestly can not believe that this has taken place, but I am consistent in my resolve that we are the standard. We are the change agents. These evils take place because we are consistently more focused on milking problems, than advancing and developing solution.

Many children have just lost their lives, and many more have just lost their innocence and will watch their childhood quickly slipping away as the reality of this evil sets in.

There is only one solution for darkness…and that is Light. We are the standard. We are the solutions. We are the change agents.

My mentor says something that piercers my heart. I’ll paraphrase it but he says from the perspective of Heaven, from the perspective of God almighty, the earth’s problems are a reflection of that which God has graced. He has graced, he has empowered, the church to create change. He has graced, he has empowered, the people of this planet and culture to be the solution. So what are we going to do?

May light shine in this dark hour.

-KD

Raking leaves and other things that suck.

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0You know what sucks about raking leaves? That’s obviously a trick question because everything sucks about raking leaves! But that is exactly what I found myself doing today.

Oh the torture! As I started rolling the list of things that I had planned to get done over in my head, my arm started hurting, my chest became sore…I was about ready to quit. Drop that rake and keep it moving.

Can you blame me though? Honestly, there is nothing that is thrilling about raking leaves. There is absolutely nothing fancy about a rake. There are no rake upgrades. There is no real way to improve the process. It’s mundane. The dreadful walk to the edge of the leaves, then the raking, raking, raking, and raking some move. Building a pile. Then walking back to the edge of the leaves just to rake, rake, rake, rake, and rake some more. It’s takes a long time, but like most things in nature it reveals a pretty awesome truth about Life. Raking leaves requires one thing: Consistency.

As much as raking leaves sucks; it’s incredibly satisfying to look over all that you have raked clean and the monster pile of leaves symbolizing all of your hard work. It’s an awesome feeling. How much of a metaphor for life is that! Looking at the landscape of our lives sometimes can be a bit intimating, but to clean it up, to make progress, to experience that awesome feeling of satisfaction requires one thing: Consistency.

Nothing in life that is worth while, that is of any value, that is great, or awesome can be obtained and enjoyed for all that it is worth without consistency. Nothing.

For example, one of my favorite political titans and freedom fighter is Nelson Mandela. The South African man that became the symbol for equality, freedom, and justice in a nation where classism and prejudice where standard operating procedures. He eventually became President of that great nation but in his autobiography, “The Long Walk to Freedom“, he details the long and sometimes dreadful road that it took to get to that place. One of the truths that his story reveals is that, it took consistency for him to be able to experience his dream becoming reality.

I know it sucks! No body really wants to have to endure and persevere to obtain success, but I don’t think there is really any other way. Look at Thomas Edison, it took him 10,000 attempts to finally perfect the lightbulb. 10,000. Let that sink in, but when questioned about it he said,

 I have not failed. I have just found 9,999 ways that do not work’

That’s consistency. That’s pushing beyond and pushing through in order to obtain what your looking for. That’s pushing through the mundane. Pushing through the hard. Pushing through the challenges.  Thomas Edison is quoted saying something else related to consistency that I thought was awesome he said,

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

How ridiculously true is this? The Bible says that when we meet trials or challenges to count those as all joy. That is to say when we come up against a wall, a roadblock, the mundane, and the like…to count it all joy. For,

the testing of your faith produces steadfastness (James 1:2-3)

What’s steadfastness? Consistency. We have to hang on. We must endure. Success is so close we can smell it. You know what I’m talking about. You know that feeling. As a matter of a fact…you feel it right now. We know the vision for our lives, we know what we want, and we know who we want to be. It’s going to take one thing to see it, to experience it, and to be it: Consistency.

No days off.

Peace & Progress friends,

KD

What’s your number?

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So I love that clip. It’s from a pretty intense movie by Oliver Stone called “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.” This scene catches the tail end of a conversation between Jacob Moore (Shia LaBeouf) and Bretton James (Josh Brolin) as they discuss the job that Bretton offered Jacob. Before Jacob decides whether he wants to accepts this offer, he asks Bretton this interesting and direct question that reveals a great deal about Bretton.

He asks “What’s your number?” What’s your number to walk away from it all? What’s your number to keep pushing? Essentially, what he was asking him was “What’s your motivation?” Bretton’s response is incredibly interesting, his simple reply is “more”. Bam cue the crescendo of the epic music and end scene.

So everybody has a number, everybody has a motivation, everybody has this particular force that drives them to do something. Whether the something that they are doing is good, bad, right or wrong. They have a driving force that motivates them to obtain the “prize”.

For example, one of my favorite public speakers/motivators Eric Thomas speaks about a time when he had flunked out of college and then went back. He says what really changed the game when he returned to college, and what literally enabled him to not only exceed but excel was the fact that he had his first child.  His motivation for success, his number, became his desire to create a better future for his son.

We can also learn a lot from the greatest basketball player that ever lived, Michael Jordan, who frequently talks about the fact that he had missed more than 9000 shots in his career. Lost almost 300 games. 26 times, he had been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. He says,“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” His motivation, his number, his driving force was to not experience the pain associated with failure.

I work with children diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder. One of the beautiful things about the work, is the opportunity to learn about the intricacies of behavior. At times what drives the kids that I work with to do certain things is incredible interesting. For example, I have one particular case that is literally driven by a desire for “sensory input”. The opportunity to splash in water, run sand through his finger,  or feel the cool and wet sensation of silly putty is his number. That’s his motivation. That’s the driving force that drives him through the day. As his instructor, it is absolutely essential (if I want to be successful) to use his number to his and my advantage. So what I created for him was a sensory bin, placed some leaves inside and presented the opportunity for him to earn access to the bin!

SAMSUNG

The progress that this kid makes when this thing is the prize is ridiculous! A complicated task becomes light work when the number and motivation is right. Honestly, what I did for my case is what we all have to do. We must use our motivations to our advantage. If your finding the mundane task difficult..find your number. If your struggling at your job…find your motivation. whatever the barrier, whatever the wall, whatever the goal..find the force that will allow you to climb, knock down and accomplish what you desire.

The truth of the matter is this, if we truly want to experience success. If we truly want to harness the force that propels us to do certain things it is absolutely essential for us to discover what our personal number is. What is our particular motivation to accomplish a particular task? What is it and how can we harness it for our benefit?

There is particular proverb that I love. It says,

The appetite of laborers works for them; their hunger drives them.

Essentially what it says is the hungrier you are the harder you are willing to work. So you want to work hard, you want to obtain success, you want to have it, you want to be it, you want to experience it? Find your motivation and Starve for it. 

Peace & progress friends,

KD

So what’s your number? What’s the driving force that propels you to accomplish your dreams?

3 Truths to Knock out the “Fear of Completion”

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Ok so we’ve all heard that poem and watched that clip, but listen its truth is timeless and essential. Plus, it gets me super pumped up! I am like an inspiration-motivation junkie. Anyway, I think its applicable and lays a nice foundation for us. So if you haven’t noticed we are in the final stretches of the 4th quarter! Whoa and hasn’t this been a year? It may have been awesome, it may have been incredible or it may not have been pretty, it may not have been everything we had hoped it would be. Whatever it was we are here now, and like I said in a previous post “where we are is not where we might want to be, but it’s where we need to be. For where we are increases our hunger for more.”

As the final days of 2012 tick away, I wanted to quickly address this horrible issue that I know I struggle with from time to time. I call it the “Fear of Completion”. (I need an awesome sound effect to go along with that statement). So what am I talking about? What is the fear of completion?  Have you ever sat down, made your to-do list, but pretty much went and did everything besides that one thing. Yeah you did the laundry, yeah you cleaned the dishes, you returned those phone calls, etc etc. But that one thing seems to always dominate and consistently be on top of your list. Some may call this “procrastination”, but I’d like to give an old idea a new twist and call it the fear of completion. Why do I want to call it this? Well procrastination in my own estimation is just pure laziness. We are past that. Laziness is elementary. What we are dealing with is the father of laziness and that is fear. What can scare you about your to do list??? Well….completing it is pretty scaring considering what is on that list.

So what I’ve found and discovered is that we tend to put off those things that could have the most profound impact in someway shape or form. I don’t know what yours is, but I am working on some projects that scare me, and put me into the position where I am faced with the fear of completion. Now the really scary piece of the completion of the project is that you can give it everything you have, you can invest your time, your energy, your essence, your being, and your blood, sweat and tears…and it still may not be good enough….That’s the fear. I want to offer you 3 truths that will help us knock out this fear every time.

Truth # 1: Know your why

It is absolutely essential to understanding why you desire to complete something. Point blank period. So I work with children in the realm of behavior modification. It’s an incredibly interesting field. One of the number one lessons that I have learned, is that everyone has a motivation, you just have to find it. I can ask the kids I work with to do a number of different tasks, and sometimes it will appear that they are incapable of completing that task. That is until I increase the reinforcement for completing that task. Sometimes the “why” is not great enough, it’s not strong enough, and it’s not tasty enough to get them to do what I want them to do. Essentially, we are exactly the same. The stronger our reason to complete something, the more likely we will.

Truth # 2: Perfect and great are not the same.

So I think we all struggle with perfectionism to some degree. It’s that unsatisfiable obsessive desire to make sure everything fits our weird little understanding of how it should be. Now, I have absolutely no room to talk about this one because I am completely O.D. (O.verly D.edicated) in many regards, but I am learning that my way is not always the best way. My understanding of how things should be can be tweaked quite a bit at times. And that a little messy (emphasis on “a little”) can be beautiful. Great work is hardly perfect, but it’s always just right, and the imperfection is what makes it unique enough to be great.

Truth #3: The pain of regret hurts more than the pain of hardwork.

Now this one needs no explanation. We know this one. We can feel this one. Nothing hurts more than looking back at what you had, what you could have had, and who you could have been. Nothing. If given the option up front we would all choose hard work rather than be faced with the pain of regret.

So I don’t know what your goals are for the next couple weeks of this year, or for the next 365 days starting on January 1st, but I know that each and every day we must slay our fears and keep pushing.

Peace & progress,

KD